Have You Ever Been Wrong?
One of the most beautiful and humbling parts of our journey as humans is to look back at things we believed, decisions we have made, and things we have done and say to ourselves “Yup, I didn’t get that one right” or “Girl, you really fucked that one up.” It took me a while to see being wrong as a good thing, but I’m getting there. To be honest, I’m a girl who is pretty comfortable existing in the ambiguity of things. My personal philosophy is that something getting done is better than worrying about something being perfect. I’m okay with something going mostly right, but not exactly how I wanted it. My friends and colleagues will attest to the fact that I can accomplish a lot, but I’m never going for perfection. My interest at work and in life is progress, not perfection.
And yet, there are the moments when we just really miss the mark. I’m not really a person who believes much in the usefulness of having regrets. For me, my mistakes become the places I get to learn, grow, and practice. But there is something beautiful and humbling about admitting when we’ve gotten it wrong. Most of the time, the act of just being real with yourself is enough, and other times, what it means to be a mature human adult is to look at the face of another and say “I’m sorry. I messed that one up and I know it impacted you.” This is hard work, y’all. I’m not always great at it, but I’m working on it.
I’ve messed some things up in my life — I’m jumped in too quickly, I’ve made a bad decision, I’ve hurt people unintentionally, I’ve believed things that I look back on now and go “WTF were you thinking?”, my judgments about people have been off sometimes, and the list goes on.
And I haven’t always been great at admitting when I’ve missed the mark. Don’t hear what I’m not saying — making mistakes is part of life and we don’t need to beat ourselves up about it. But the reality of our humanity is that we are going to make mistakes, miss the mark, or be flat out wrong.
What do we lose when we admit we were wrong? Our ego? Our way too tightly gripped sense of control over things we usually don’t control? We might need to live with a temporary sense of embarrassment for a bit? I know that sometimes it can feel like we put a lot on the line when we admit our mistakes and failures. These days, I’m choosing to look at it as growing up. So instead of framing it around what I’m losing, here’s what I gain when I am able to acknowledge that I maybe got something a little bit wrong — freedom, humility, a more open mind and heart, more acceptance and less judgment of others, peace, curiosity, and a sense of admiration for all of the ways I continue to grow up.
I’m really glad I’m not the Kelly I was in 2009, in 2016, or even last year. I’m so glad I don’t believe all of the same things that I did then. This version has learned some things about the beliefs she once clung to, the defensiveness she had over being right all the time, and has learned some things about herself that only come when you’re really going through it.
Maybe, just maybe, acknowledging your own humanity and owning your mistakes is part of growing up.
Where have you gotten it wrong before? What did you gain from acknowledging it?
